5th June 2011. OFF DEATH ROW
Reality – I live in a dangerous place here on Tx. Death row and I’m not even talking about the inmates. The Guards, Rank, the administration. I have learned when they put the eye on you—They put the eye on you. Nothing leaves the unit, they do not want to, as in Mail, letters and writings. Nor does it go to where it is sent. Hell even the O.I.G does not even respond. I wrote a letter and sent an I-60 never heard anything. I wrote a grievance on the 10th, never got a reply. Sent 2 I-60’s asking if my grievance was received. Nothing. A number of us are all trying to be out at visit on the16th for Lee Taylors Date of Execution 3 of us at visit last night, so they put us all down at the end and even gave us some chit chat time. How nice all so they could try to see what was going on — Well I’m here to tell you, nothings going on it’s all just what it is — Friends just wanting to be there for another friend. Nobody is plotting anything bad, we just want to say our goodbyes.
Taylor doesn’t want anybody tripping for him. He’s ready to go, so believe I will honor my friends wishes and be on my best behaviour. Hey I even tried to get my Mohawk cut off today to show I am not tripping. The Mohawk to me is the symbol of rebellion and war (protest) Like the Indians war paint. My war is over.. I have 3 friends on Death watch now. It’s sad but this is where we live…
This evening is one of my more depressing nights. You know I can’t even see a psych Dr. Hell no they sort stopped by I-60 requesting to talk to him. So now I can’t even get mental help either. I guess I should go write about the ghosts now, maybe later. (smile)
I talked to the nurse today. Now security is once again using the restraints as a punishment, because of Sgt. Beverly. Security says it’s a medical issue. The Dr. gives me the pass. So security short stops it. I guess I have not been tortured enough consequences. The sad thing on that is the ones who make these calls are sitting behind a desk somewhere. I pay for it, the Officers pay for it, all while they sit back and watch. I can act cruel but I am not a cruel person. Sometimes I say or write things out of emotion like the spite that is only going to get people hurt who don’t even know what’s going on. There is a time for violence I see that I believe that. But, there is a time to talk and all out violence was not, is not the answer.
Let us hope the next few days bring positive change, for us all
Until Next time
Stay posted who knows what type of crazy stuff I might write next.